


Newt's Story

by TheUltimateUndesirable



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Arguing, Educational, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen, Gender Identity, Good Albus Dumbledore, Jacob Kowalski is a Great Friend, Magic, Minor Tina Goldstein/Newt Scamander, Overprotective Theseus Scamander, POV Newt Scamander, Post-Movie 2: Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald, Rituals, Theseus Scamander is an ass, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transgender Newt Scamander, Young Albus Dumbledore, dead naming, magic is amazing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25272547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUltimateUndesirable/pseuds/TheUltimateUndesirable
Summary: There is always more to someone than anyone else knows no matter what they may think. Newt is no different."The best gift you are ever going to give someone- The permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough."The true words of Eddie Redmayne himself: "Trans men are men, trans women are women, and non binary indentities are valid."
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48
Collections: FtCF: Transgender Characters





	Newt's Story

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I'd like start this off with a lovely fuck you to canon although I tried to base this off “canon” as much as possible. Of course there is very little accurate information and the opinion of what’s canon in Fantastic Beasts and not is highly debatable due to plot holes. Then again this is a Fuck Canon fest so I guess take it with a grain of salt? I’ve wanted to write Newt for a while but I just hadn’t had a good feel of him yet or what to write. This prompt though screamed Newt to me and I had to! I also learned channeling my inner hufflepuff is difficult. 
> 
> I didn’t feel like a romantic relationship was needed for this and what came to mind for the prompt was more educational I guess. I just loved the idea of his story for it. Remember this is based in the 1920’s. Muggles were definitely uneducated on sexuality and such back then however I like to believe the wizarding world was a little more advanced than them in those aspects. I also of course tried to put a magical spin on the subject. Hopefully it worked out okay? 
> 
> Thanks to KazofScotland for beta-ing and teaching me dead naming is a trigger.   
> Lots of love. 
> 
> JK sadly owns all rights to Harry Potter/Fantastic Beasts etc. I'm happily making no money on this.
> 
> Prompt and amazing words:   
> "The best gift you are ever going to give someone- The permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough."

Newt couldn’t even describe how tired of his brother he was. Going with him to Hogwarts, it should have been a given that he would at least be having a cup of tea with Dumbledore. Yet somehow here he was with Theseus pacing in front of him in irritation trying to lecture him, and at his own cottage nonetheless. All over a bloody cup of tea. He was treating him like he had walked into the hippogriff pen during mating season, which was, of course, a horrible idea. 

“I don't care Nessie! I don’t care!” Theseus shouted at him as he stopped his pacing to face him again. “Let me handle it. Let the aurors handle it. This is Dumbledore's fight. Not yours!”

Shaking his head Newt looked at the ground. There was no point in trying to argue with his brother, not that he even wanted to. He absolutely hated arguments, not that there was anything left to say anyways. Theseus clearly knew now what side he had chosen in the war, but he also should accept by now that he would fight beside Dumbledore and help him as much as he could. His brother didn’t have to understand it or be happy about it. 

Theseus seemed to come to his senses, maybe out of desperation, and tried a different approach with a softened expression. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. His brother always managed to keep his hair a bit tamer than he could. 

“Nessie….Newt,” he corrected himself as an afterthought. “Please. Just stay out of it. This is becoming something far bigger than we expected. Mother and father don’t want you involved in this as much I.” 

“I’d like you to leave now,” he said blankly. There was nothing left to say and if his brother wanted to have a good rant he could go to their parents and complain about how he was so called, involving himself in more things than he should. His family already disapproved of his studies as it was so it wasn’t surprising they would disapprove of something like this as well. 

Newt had made it his mission to move out as soon as he could after being expelled from Hogwarts. Altogether it had taken him about a year and a half with his age, but he had finally made it out; granted with a little assistance from his father that his mum was unaware of. It wasn’t that he didn’t love his parents, and it wasn’t that they treated him poorly. He just wanted to be able to be himself without their hovering and trying to push him away from his love of creatures. In his early years at Hogwarts he thought his mother would have been thrilled, but apparently her love didn’t extend as far as his love did. 

“You can’t ignore this Nessie!” Theseus shouted at him again realizing his more delicate approach hadn’t worked either. “In case you didn’t notice us,” his brother gestured around the room dramatically. “...oh I don't know….saving Paris! I think you would know that!” 

Shifting his weight back and forth was a habit he had developed over his life trying to ground himself. It allowed him to remain the calm one no matter how bothered he was. He wasn’t his brother and wouldn’t allow himself to lose his temper the way he did. “Theseus. Just leave please,” he said more sternly. 

His brother made a frustrated noise and turned on his heel. When the door slammed shut he didn't even wince. He had actually expected his brother to kick the door frame beforehand. At least he was finally gone though and for a few seconds he just stared at the door processing. Reassuring himself and trying to rid himself of the sting his family still managed to cause sometimes. While he and Theseus shared some similar characteristics in other ways they could be so different that Newt wasn’t sure how they were related. 

“Umm.....what’s this fight over anyways?” came a voice from behind him. 

Newt turned to meet the face of Jacob looking at him from his dining table. With Queenie having left him in Paris of course he had had no choice but to bring the muggle man home with him to England. He hardly minded though and considered him a great friend already. Even allowing him to share his home wasn't of any issue so far, Jacob was proving pleasant company. Helping him with his chores with the creatures and most of the time his attitude was pretty cheerful. 

Much to his own disappointment Tina had chosen to go back to America upon their departure in Paris. Just in case Queenie was to return to their home. It seemed unlikely considering she had vanished at Grindelwalds side, and the only one she seemed to care about was Jacob. Jacob had refused Tina’s insistence that he was to go back to America with her to wait because even he knew that it was futile. 

Tina was still torn on his involvement so neither of them were sure the witch wouldn’t just obliviate him. For that reason Newt had told Jacob more than asked him to stay with him. While she had accepted it, he could tell she was a smidge put out with him on the matter. Whether it was him not returning to America or simply still being around altogether he didn't know. 

From what Newt knew, not only was he Jacobs' only wizarding friend, it seemed as though he was his only friend at all. In all honesty it was the same way for him. He couldn’t say that he really had any friends and he wasn’t going to lose Jacob over some ridiculous American muggle viewpoints. Tina was sure to come around more since she already had a fair bit….or at least he hoped. 

“He doesn’t think I should be involving myself in the war,” Newt finally answered.

Jacob scoffed lightly. “A war is a war. You need all the arms you can get if you want to win.” 

“Theseus doesn’t think of it like that,” Newt said grimly. “He thinks everyone needs protecting and they should leave it to the trained professionals.”

“Do you think I look like any kind of general?” Jacob kind of laughed. “No. I’m still a soldier though, and fought when they needed me too. Granted I was drafted but….” 

Newt furrowed his brows. “Drafted?” 

“Oh uh. Well when they run out of actual ‘trained’ soldiers,” Jacob put emphasis on the last two words. “, the country recruits the younger men around the country of age able to go to battle and serve our country. Protect it. Old, young, and sick don’t have to go but men like me do.” 

“I’m doing this without….that though. The wizarding world doesn’t….draft people. There aren’t wars very often so people usually just protect their families. Then again….with magic I suppose it takes less people….” Newt thought aloud trying to relate a muggle war to a wizarding one. 

“Okay well what is it with this guy Dumbledore?” Jacob interrupted his thinking. “Why does your brother seem to hate him so much?” 

Not really wanting to address the subject. Mostly considering he had just listened to his brother go on about how he shouldn’t be helping the man. Newt started heading down the stairs to his study and enclosures. “It’s feeding time,” he said instead. 

Jacob naturally followed him to aid. To his surprise, without any more questions on the matter. He was grateful for the understanding but it wasn’t like it was a big deal. After all he was sure Jacob was very confused about the whole situation. Once they got the supplies out and began weighing out the portion for the demiguise he decided to answer. 

“Dumbledore is a dear friend of mine. Theseus doesn’t exactly approve of how much I admire him for some reason. Perhaps because he encouraged my study of creatures,” Newt guessed. It was one of the only theories that he had come up with after all this time. It also could have just been that Theseus and Dumbledore had never gotten along in school. His brother had been quite the talker and prone to late homework from what his old professor told him.

“So? How could he not admire this? Hell, look at all this Newt,” Jacob gestured around them in awe to all the different areas of his self built habitats. “You are a personal self taught zoo keeper. I mean look at these creatures. How could anyone not be proud of you for this? I mean these are some dangerous creatures and you know how to handle them. And you know, not die like pretty much everyone else would.” 

Newt smiled as he threw the last of the greens into the pail for Dougal while Jacob sat out more buckets for the mooncalves. They had proven thus far to be his favorite magical creature, and honestly they had taken quite the liking to him as well. It always made him happy the way Jacob admired the creatures the way he did. More out a sense of wonder, but still it was nearly the same. 

“It’s a dangerous field of work and in most of these cases….maybe a tad illegal,” he explained with a hidden little laugh to the man. Some stupid laws weren’t going to erase nature’s beauty if he could do something about it. “Ministries across the world believe that many of these creatures should not exist because they are dangerous. The truth is people just don’t know how to treat them properly or respect them.”

He could see Jacob shaking his head in disapproval as he headed off to feed the mooncalves which made him smile. Even the muggle man understood while there were thousands of witches and wizards that disagreed. It just wasn’t fair how the wizarding world treated them all, including how American witches and wizards felt toward the muggles. 

Making his way over to the kelpie Newt levitated the numerous buckets to follow him. It wouldn’t take the man that long to feed the calves, but he did like to linger and pet them often. Not usually something he condoned, but when you bonded with a creature who was he to say no? Particularly when he had Picket, Niffler, Swooping Evil and the Zouwu that had bonded with him so well. 

A short time later Jacob came up to join him by the opening of the small magical lake he had created. “Uh….Newt? Can I ask another question?” he asked.

“Of course Jacob,” he said, watching and waiting for the kelpie to come eat the surplus of fish he had dumped into the tank. It was something Jacob also enjoyed watching. For some reason the kelpie always seemed to fascinate the muggle more than most others. Perhaps he may have heard rumours of the Loch Ness monster even in America. Muggles loved myths despite knowing many were true. Personally it was one of his favorites as well.

“Why did your brother keep calling you Nessie? I mean being your brother you'd think he would know your name.” Jacob laughed lightly. 

Newt bit his lip and grabbed the buckets. Hurrying back off to the storage area to busy himself feeling the latent sting again. While he loved the story of the Loch Ness monster, and it was one of the things that had triggered his interest in magical creatures outside his mother's hippogriffs, he had hoped that bit of the conversation had gone unnoticed by his friend. Theseus and his parents tried for the most part but it always slipped out in arguments and heated moments of disagreement. It never made it hurt any less after all this time.

His dead name was a very personal topic and not something he had shared with anyone in a long time. Mostly because he had no one close to him that he could. There was silence for a moment where Newt was able to pick up his pen and begin scribbling down the stats of the day so far, trying to distract himself. Something he made sure to keep track of for record keeping, reference, and study. Allowing him to try and relax again.

Jacob broke it though having followed him. His voice was seemingly concerned and confused. “Newt?” 

“It’s nothing,” he said quietly. Really it wasn’t nothing, but it also wasn’t something he openly shared with people so quickly. Plus his brother already crossing a line had him feeling a bit wounded and perhaps a bit vulnerable. Usually Theseus at least, respected him enough to accept who he was. He still hadn’t even told Tina since their relationship hadn’t progressed to anything past acknowledged mutual interest in one another. Then again his friendship with Jacob was much stronger already. He was nothing but kind and caring with an open mind. 

“He doesn't usually mean to do it,” Newt said softly with a hint of disappointment. It hurt when his brother did it even after all these years. “At least I think….. It's only when he gets protective and angry at me that he uses that name.” 

“Nessie? Why the heck would he call you that?” Jacob asked.

Newt sat down his pen with a little frustration. Not at Jacob but at the whole situation in general. His brothers ranting and disrespect for both his personal decisions and not respecting who he was. Especially in his own home. “Because that was the name I was given at birth,” he admitted in what felt like defeat sitting down on his worn stool finally. 

Jacob furrowed his brows for a second and then shrugged carelessly taking a seat on the extra stool Newt had conjured him weeks ago. “I did work with a man named Sandy in the factory. Went by Andy instead since it was too much of a girl's name.”

Newt shook his head knowing the man didn’t understand, not that he had entirely sure he expected him to. “No. No it's not the same. I….” he rubbed at his jaw, a tick he preferred over dishelving his already disheveled hair like Theseus did. “It’s what I was named before I....before I got this body.” 

“Before you got your body? Jacob asked, confused written all over his face. 

“Yes. I was born a girl Jacob,” Newt clarified meeting the man’s eyes which widened in surprise.

“You're a girl?” Jacob exclaimed probably a bit louder than he meant. 

“No,” Newt dismissed firmly as soon as the words had left his mouth. “No. I was born a girl, but I'm a man, Jacob. No different than you are.” 

“What do you mean? If you were born a girl you're a girl...” Jacobs eyes darted around the room as if trying to find reassurance but the magic swirling above and around him probably had him second guessing that train of thought. “...aren't you?” he finished with more of a question. 

“It’s called being transgender. Someone who’s personal gender identity doesn’t line up with the sex assigned to them at birth,” he explained. “Isn’t it heard of in the muggle world?” he asked with a bit of curiosity but he was pretty sure he knew the answer. It wasn’t overly common in the wizarding world but then again it definitely was not unheard of. 

Jacob opened his mouth and closed before making a funny expression that told him he had no clue what he was talking about and was confused. “Ummm can't say I recall,” he finally answered with some uncertainty. “No? Not that I know of anyways.” 

Newt frowned a little. “Can’t say I’m surprised. I mean a good portion of your lot still want to burn witches and wizards alive for simply doing basic magic. I can’t imagine them trying to understand someone being born the wrong gender. They would just file it as being a curse.” 

“Yeah….yeah you're probably right,” Jacob admitted blinking rapidly trying to really process the information. Not that Newt could blame him, especially being a muggle completely unfamiliar with all of it. “What was it like being a girl?” the other man asked randomly. His curiosity seemed to spike much like it had when he first realized magic was real. 

“Dreadful,” Newt admitted with a small laugh of his own. “More than dreadful actually.”

Jacob’s posture changed to one of eager interest for more information.“How?” 

It was quite the amusing sight seeing the muggle so intrigued for knowledge. Newt sighed preparing himself to tell his story. “Imagine having two melons stuck to your chest,” he said, unable to help putting his hands out in front of himself. “Constantly. And they feel like they don't belong there and you want nothing more than to slash them off because they are always in the bloody way,” he tried to explain. Having breasts hadn’t nearly been the worst part of it all. 

“Then imagine hearing a voice,” Newt continued. “It's your voice but it's also not. It's high pitched and feels unnatural on your tongue. Like it's just…..wrong. You don’t want to talk. You really don’t want to do anything because anything you do and anytime you move you're reminded of what you are physically.” Newt wrinkled his nose a little despite himself. “Especially in a boarding school. Having to live in the girls dorm was so uncomfortable. Not that I can say I wanted to be in the boys dorms. I just wanted to be alone and to be me so I spent most of my time away from everyone when I didn’t have classes.” 

At first Jacob made a face seeming to agree with him but then his brows furrowed again. “But you look and sound like a man? Your voice is normal and you don’t have any….uh….a woman body. How did you just….” then it seemed to dawn on him as though someone had said Lumos in a dark room. “....magic?” he finished more than asked.

Newt nodded with a smile. “Magic.”

“Can I see what it did?” Jacob asked abruptly, kind of gesturing to his own chest. 

“What?” Newt asked, taken aback by the question. 

“Aren’t there like….I don’t know. Burns? Scars? Something from the magic doing whatever it does to change your body?” Jacob tried to clarify even though he failed a little. It wasn’t his fault for not knowing how magic worked and he seemed genuinely interested, but Newt was a little off-put by the boldness.

“Jacob I really…” he started unsurely but his friend interrupted him.

“Ah come on,” he said lightly like it wasn’t a big deal. Then he stood up and pulled his own shirt up to his armpit to reveal a jagged painful looking scar. It started just on the upper back of his ribcage and traveled down across the front to his hip bone. “See this heere? Got hit by a piece of scrap metal from a grenade blast when I was stationed in France.” Jacob looked down at the old wound almost amusingly. “Can't say the medical guy did that good a job as you can tell.” 

Letting out a deep breath at his friend’s openness Newt stood up. Slowly, with a bit of both embarrassment and uncomfortableness,lifted his own shirt up just enough to reveal the two thin clean smooth scars underneath his pectoral muscles. They were something he wished he could get rid of but it just wasn’t a possibility unless he wanted to constantly wear a glamour. Considering they were under his shirt most of the time he didn’t even bother.

“Wow. I really didn't think there would be anything anywhere,” Jacob admitted after a brief second of looking at him. 

“Magic can leave scars too,” he told him hurrying to lower his shirt back down. “Especially powerful magic.” 

Jacob nodded in understanding. “I suppose it would take a lot of magic to….well…..you know,” he said a bit awkwardly. 

Newt couldn't help but smile a little at his reserve and he felt himself relax. “To get rid of and create new body parts?” he completed for him. “Yes it does.” 

“How bad did it hurt?” Jacob asked. “I mean it had to, didn't it?” 

“No……” Newt said thinking back. “...not really. I ached all over for a few days afterwards but we have pain potions for that so….,” 

“You mean you didn't have to feel it?” Jacob asked in complete disbelief. He seemed more surprised over that than anything else that had been said. “I don't know how you'd say it ..cutting your body? Changing it? Whatever it was…..but you didn't feel that? I passed out from this,” he said gesturing to his side as they both sat back down.

“You don't have pain relievers?” Newt asked, completely confused in return. Pain potions were some of the easiest potions to make. How was it possible that the muggles hadn’t even achieved that?

Jacob laughed like he was annoyed being denied such a luxury. “We usually call that alcohol.”

Newt raised his eyebrows before laughing along with him. Sure Firewhisky could probably numb you a fair bit but he knew it wouldn’t be nearly enough to not feel every slash of magic, or in Jacobs case metal. Not that he ever drank but the idea was absolutely ridiculous, and to think that is what muggles had to deal with. 

It took a moment but slowly they regained themselves, him quicker than his friend. At the moment he felt even more grateful for having met the man. This was the kind of friend he needed in his life. Sure Leta had been a good friend back in the day but Jacob was just much more interested in everything and generally a happier spirit. Both things Newt enjoyed. Learning and kindness that spread.

“So how did you do it? What kind of magic allows you to change your body? Is it like...when Queenie used to just wave her wand and her clothes changed?” Jacob mimicked a wand movement he must have seen the witch use before.

“Merlin, no,” Newt laughed again at the simplicity of the idea. “No, that's either a charm or transfiguration depending on what she used. We do have polyjuice potion which will temporarily allow you to take on the form of another,” he rambled on in explaining. It was kind of satisfying teaching the man more about magic. “Meaning I could take some now and change to look just like you. It would wear off after a bit though. I had to go through a ritual to physically become a male permanently though.”

“A ritual? What does that include? Like a difficult tradition? I’ve heard rituals take blood and a sacrifice…..” Jacob’s face took on a less than pleasant look. Probably imagining a bunch of horror stories he had heard throughout his life about witches. 

“No sacrifices,” he reassured him. “Now it was difficult.” that part he wanted to make sure Jacob understood. “Very advanced magic. Dumbledore helped me through the process. He gave me the books on ancient rituals to study up on and know what I was going to be dealing with, and he found someone advanced in arthimancy that was willing to help with the ruins. He performed the spell himself and all. My father also helped by providing his own and my mum's DNA which was needed for recreation.” 

“My mum didn’t come though,” he said with a tone of sadness. “She didn’t come because I guess it hurt her for some reason? Losing a daughter?” Newt still didn’t exactly understand his mother's mindset. “I mean it’s not like I disappeared though. I’m still here. Me. I think my dad understood more because he was healer and understood me a little better. He stayed through the whole thing. Theseus came but I think it was more out of feeling for my safety and not trusting Dumbeldore. Theseus can be quite ....” 

“Theseus?” Jacob offered up as an explanation and Newt agreed. There was no better way to put it. “So I’m guessing that's another reason you are so close to this Dumbledore? He helped you?” 

Newt nodded slowly as the memories of Dumbledore’s caring smile. Supporting him through school. First approaching him in fourth year asking about his well being. Somehow picking up that something was different about him and reassuring him it was okay. Confessing about himself being gay, something that apparently no one else really knew. He had felt incredibly thankful having someone at Hogwarts besides Leta that understood him. Trying to imagine his future without Dumbledore’s involvement was a horrifying thing. 

Getting up and replaying old memories from such an unpleasant time in his life he walked over to his newest addition. He had recreated Frank’s old area in his home into a slightly larger area for the elephant sized cat from the circus in Paris. It was who he seemed to connect with the moment the most . He admired the way the beast ran up to him in one hop, and rolled over pleased to see him. Nuzzling against his face with a delicate, granted still strong, loving gesture. Newt rubbed his hand along the creature's cheek, carefully avoiding the long ribbons of his mane fur. 

“The best gift you ever are going to give someone Jacob,” he said looking over his shoulder seeing that his friend had indeed followed him. “... is the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough.” 

Newt pulled away from the zouwu who happily went back to jumping around. He watched it in admiration and smiled even larger seeing Jacob watching him move about also with a large smile on his face. “That’s what Dumbledore gave me. That’s why I fight for him. That’s why I love these creatures with all my being. They deserve to be what they are and feel safe. Because they too are worth living and life.”


End file.
